Whether it was denial or just plain fear, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to my 20th reunion two weeks ago. I mean, I remember my parents going to their 20th reunion and that’s scary. Could I really be old enough for such an event? What will I say to all of those middle-aged people? When I see them, will it make me realize that I am actually 38? Will I feel like a failure because I am still single and not a mother? I nearly skipped it thinking I’d prefer living in denial just a bit longer.
One thing is certain my memory is 38 years old. There were people I can’t remember ever seeing before, names I don’t think I’ve ever heard, faces that ring no bells. Very embarrassing. And their memories were all topnotch. Everyone knew who I was. Even more embarrassing.
After calling a few very nice people by the wrong name, I decided I’d just stop using names and act like I knew and remembered everyone. It’s not that hard. Most conversations begin with, “so where are you these days?” Then, “what are you doing now?” And if you don’t remember who they are you can ask, “and how’s your family doing?” That one often brings up some names and stories that trigger at least a bit of a recollection. If you still don’t have a clue who they are, find someone standing nearby that you do remember and try to bring them into the conversation: “you remember so-and-so?”
In my defense, I didn’t remember people because just about everyone looked better than they did in high school. “What a relief,” I thought, until I realized they all remembered me. Did that mean I still looked like that 16-year-old girl with braces, horrendous hairstyles, pudgy cheeks, and fashion-disaster clothes that scream out “I’m trying to define myself, give me a break”?
Then I overheard a conversation in the bathroom. I couldn’t make out the voices, but three classmates of mine revealed their secret weapon: the yearbook. Duh. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Study the yearbook before your reunion, at least that way you’ll have some names and faces regardless of whether those names and faces still match.
3 comments:
Ha, thanks for sharing this story :) I can relate with a lot of the feelings and thought you had going into your Reunion. Funny about the Facebook--it has been surprising to me how many faces I recall vaguely from my highschool days, without being able to put a name to them... I guess Memory flies... (away).
Maybe you were remembered because you are unforgettable.
Then there are those of us who went so many schools in more than one country even that a reunion is not in the cards. I knew one person in the high school I graduated from in Ssn Francisco. I had been there one semester. He lives in Australia and I am still in touch with him after the equivalent of over two twenty year reunions.
So you are lucky as well as unforgettable.
La Tanguera....there's a quote that makes this memory thing a little easier: "The secret to a happy old age is good health and a bad memory." Or something like that. Makes perfect sense to me.
Charlie Tally.... I like your take on things much better than my own. I'm going to imagine I'm unforgettable from now on. And as for the lucky part, you are absolutely right. No one knows you like those you grew up with.
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