Through the Eyes of Another

I just got back from a trip back home--a mix of business, family, and the beach. I took a friend with me. It's always interesting to see your country through the eyes of a foreigner. The first time I did this, I was way too defensive and proud to accept any criticism. I still am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm the first to criticize my country, my city, my people, my family, my friends, myself, you name it. But just because I do doesn't mean you can. Or better, you're welcome to do so, but don't leave out the positive. Luckily my travel buddy was enamored with Louisiana even if she didn't love the rest of the country. That's enough for me.

But it's like when you go to a girlfriend to bitch about your husband. She's not supposed to agree with you. She's supposed to listen and understand, but in the end, until you decide to dump the idiot, she is supposed to just mimic whatever you say. So that the conversation isn't a bunch of "uh-huhs" and "I-know-what-you-means" and "really-I-can't-believes", she might add that her husband is also an idiot and tell you a story to show that you are not alone. That's a good friend. One that tells you, "yep, your guy is a total loser and you need to dump him" might also be a good friend, but she hasn't understood yet the fine art of listening to a friend bitch about her guy.

Well, the same rules for criticizing husbands and boyfriends apply to criticizing countries and families. Say for instance your significant other has a family of nuts. He'll complain about them to you and you'll want to agree. Don't! If they are all nuts, he is probably nuts too.

Since I am typically the first to criticize my country, I thought I'd point out the positive things just like a good friend should do. Here's what I miss about home:

1. Hot dogs-I happened to be traveling with a hot dog freak. Good thing too, because while many people go to New Orleans for creamy sauces and oysters, for me if I have to go to Bourbon Street I want a Lucky Dog. I'm not objective enough to tell you if Lucky Dogs are better than regular hot dogs, but here's the difference between the Argentinean version (choripan) and a Lucky Dog. Lucky Dogs are smaller and less greasy, so you won't bite into it and ruin your evening wear. And, they don't fill you up so you can still eat some gumbo later.

2. LIVE MUSIC-I had to yell this one because it's not that there isn't live music in Argentina, there is. But it's not the kind of music that makes you want to sign a petition to impeach Bush. I miss get-up-and-yell music that has nothing to do with seduction. No polite applause at the end. The music might be good, it might be crap. That's not the point.

3. Extremes-Sometimes when I go home I try to imagine I'm a visitor from another land. Being with a friend from another land helps. So, if I were "visiting" the US, wouldn't I think it's sort of charming that people get dressed up on Sunday and speak in tongues in the local freakoid church? In one family you might have tattoos and debauchery mixed with conservatism and piety. Ain't that cool? I mean, I'd much rather spend my life with people who feel passionately about the wrong thing than people who feel nothing at all.

Or for example, the latest craze filling up the bookshelves and supermarket aisles. And everyone buying into it. How naive and sort of charming if you imagine it's not your people and your country.

4. Diversity-Diversity in everything. Yes, I am ashamed to admit it. I love the fact that you can get anything you want at anytime. But more specifically, I love the cultural diversity. It's true that you have to look hard for it. But, by god it exists. I moved to Argentina from Egypt because I wanted to fit in. I was tired of people staring and taking pictures of me (mind you I was taking pictures of them too). I fit in, just like the rest of the 14 million people in this city.

5. Shared humor and cultural references-I miss being able to say Denny's without having to explain that it's a place you go late-night for some breakfast food before going to bed because you either aren't ready to go home or you need some food to absorb the alcohol. Or how about being able to tell a joke and having people get it, really get it. I don't much miss going to Denny's though.

6. Your basic understanding of what's supposed to happen-When things don't go right, you know it and do something about it. There's no trying to figure out if this is a cultural difference or if you just didn't explain yourself well. Sometimes life in the States is too organized for my taste. It's stifling. But then when you live in places with hardly any rules, you sort of come to appreciate that dull, organized sanity that is home.

7. The BEACH-I miss being outside and swimming.

8. Change, change, change- And the belief that you can pretty much have whatever you want. Who knows if it's true, it's just nice to think it might be.